‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY? Getting Through the Holidays after a Loss

tree“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with their heart and soul, there is no separation.” Rumi

Recently, I attended a bereavement group meeting with my sister who is grieving the loss of her husband John. While I will not disclose the private conversations that took place that night, I will say that everyone was struggling with getting through the holiday season without their loved one.

While the holiday season is a time for good cheer, joy and merriment for many, it is also a time when some are anxious to say good riddance as they count the days until it’s all over. For those who have lost a loved one, the holidays can understandably be the most painful time of the year.

One of the things I said during the bereavement meeting that night was you can’t come out of it unless you go through it. How then do you get through it? How can you get through the holiday season? How is it possible to walk down city sidewalks amid the holiday crowds when you don’t feel much like doing anything? For one thing, it’s important to remember that the anticipation of the holiday season is worse than the day or event itself. During the days leading up to the holiday event, we often feel the stress brought on by all the unrealistic holiday expectations and gatherings. Here are some tips to help you get through the holiday season:

1. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. Your feelings are your own and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. So be honest with yourself and allow yourself to grieve however you want. Take control of the situation. You don’t have to force yourself to be cheerful just because the holidays are here. If you don’t feel like attending a holiday party, don’t go. If you want to attend, then go. Allow yourself the opportunity to feel your pain and sadness but also allow yourself the opportunity to feel happiness and joy. Try to remind yourself that your loved one would want you to be happy.

2. Don’t expect too much of yourself. The holidays are full of unrealistic expectations. Don’t feel like you have to put up a Christmas tree, for example. If you are having a bad day and don’t want to go out, that’s OK. If you are having a good day and feel like you can manage buying a few gifts, that’s OK, too. Don’t try to do too much. If you usually have the holiday dinner at your house and don’t feel much like cooking, delegate it to someone else. Your family and friends will understand.

3. Ask for help. During the holidays what was once festive and light can now feel dreary and heavy. If you’re having a difficult time and need help, ask for it. Many people are more than willing to offer their assistance.One of the things that was discussed during the bereavement group meeting was how family and friends don’t know what to say and do. While some people may not call because they are afraid to say the wrong thing it doesn’t mean that they are not willing to help when asked.

4. Find ways to honor your loved one. One of the ways that I honor my lost loved ones at Christmas and every day of the year is by lighting candles in their memory. I also talk to my loved ones acknowledging their presence. It’s my way of saying that I know that they are still with me.

There are countless ways to remember your loved one so just do what feels right for you. Here are a few more suggestions:

a. Have everyone share a special memory involving your loved one.

b. Plan a day doing something that your loved one liked to do. For instance, go to his or her favorite restaurant.

c. Donate a gift in your loved one’s memory.

5. Take care of YOU! No matter how much your family and friends might want to help you, they don’t truly know what you need or how you are feeling. And your grief does not give you an excuse to ignore your own needs. In fact, it’s just the opposite. If you need to take some time off from work, do it. Try not to ignore whatever it is you are feeling. Pay attention to your body. If you’re feeling tired, don’t overdo it. Take a nap or go to bed early. If you’re not feeling well, go see a doctor. Perhaps, a complete physical will do you good.

6. Remember, love never dies. As an author and afterlife researcher, I can tell you without a doubt that your loved ones are still with you in spirit. The love that you shared is still there and will always be there.   Your loved ones are still part of your life and are aware of everything that is going on here on earth.

As an example, my husband’s friend Rich died in the World Trade Center attacks of 9/11. This year we attended a high school play featuring Rich’s son in the lead role as Macheath in The Threepenny Opera. In October I attended a spirit circle featuring two psychic mediums, Dean and Stuart, from England. Dean stood directly in front of me that evening and told me Rich was there. He told me that Rich was saying that I attended a very important event for his son recently and he wanted to thank me for that.

Dean was unknowingly referring to the play that my husband and I attended.   Keep in mind that this was not public knowledge so Dean could not have read about this anywhere. My point in telling you this story is to remind you wholeheartedly that love never dies. Our loved ones are still with us and are very much aware of what is going on in our lives.

Everyone grieves in their own way. Do whatever you feel is best for you. Allow yourself time to deal with the pain but also allow yourself time to be happy. Our loved ones in heaven do want us to experience joy once again.

Whatever you do; wherever you go this holiday season, reach within and feel the love in your heart. When you do, you’ll realize your loved one never truly left you.

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The Gift of Heart Failure

I remember the day well.  My friend Dan Weiniger and I were hanging outside of the middle school awaiting the arrival of our daughters at the end of the school day.  As usual, we enjoyed each other’s company chatting about life and everything in general.

But on this day, Dan surprised me by asking, “So, Josie, do you really think there is an afterlife?”  As an author and afterlife researcher, people come up to me all the time asking about the afterlife.  But Dan, though a loyal friend and huge supporter of mine, was agnostic.

I looked back at him leaning against his car, “Yes, Dan.  I don’t think.  I know.”  Dan told me that he wanted to believe but wasn’t sure.  For the next several minutes I answered his questions about heaven and the afterlife ending with, “I’ll tell you what Dan.  If I go first, I’ll bring you a sign and if you go before me, you bring me a sign.  All I can tell you is when you die, you’ll going to be surprised. Because, yes, we die in body but not in spirit.”

He gave me a serious yet cheerful laugh and said, “OK, Josie.  You got a deal.” That day was February 18, 2014.  Below is a picture Dan took of us that day and posted on Facebook. Pictured with us is his dog Popcorn.

Daniel H Weiniger February 18, 2014 · Discussing life & afterlife with my good friend Josie Tropeano Varga — feeling great with Josie Tropeano Varga at Thomas Edison Intermediate School.Daniel H Weiniger

One year later, almost to the day (February 4, 2015), Dan suffered a massive heart attack losing 80 percent of his heart’s functions.  Basically 80 percent of his heart was dead and there was no place to by-pass to; no veins to stent.  Dan opted to have a LVAD (left-ventricular assisted device) implanted in his chest which is a mechanical pump that helps to pump blood. The surgery was a success and he was then placed on a list awaiting a heart transplant.

Sadly, Dan passed away on July 25, 2017.  The heart he so desperately needed never materialized.  The fact that a heart failed such a wonderful, kind, loving person is beyond my comprehension.  Ironically, he was all heart.

In April of this year, Dan released a book, The Gift of Heart Failure.  While he was working on the book, he called to ask if I would write his foreword and also wanted my advice.  We talked at length about his book and his reasons for writing it.  I advised him to include an introduction as well as a final thoughts section.  I explained that it was important to tell people why he was writing the book.

“Heart failure has taught me how precious life really is,” he told me.   “And what do you want people to remember when they finish your book?” I asked.  Dan quickly answered, “Be grateful for the tough times because they mean you are alive.”

In Dan’s memory, I am sharing some of his enlightening words of wisdom from the book.

Kindness:

What I learned from this is that there is more to being kind than simply just being nice, more than being a good neighbor, more than doing the right thing. All of that can be driven by ego and have self-serving adulation and recognition.  True kindness is generated by our true essence and attitude not by our ego.  It taught me, besides my mother’s insistence, I am not the center of the universe.

Kindness is born of compassion for others.  It is a deep sense of understanding and caring that comes when your heart is open and your mind is not solely focused on your universe.  It is again showing us the importance of being able to look at our situation and ourselves from an unemotional, detached angle and see more than one perspective.

Your actions may appear to be kind.  I always try to display kind behavior.  However, what this experience has taught me is your thoughts have to be kind, kindness must initiate from inside, from your heart.  Are your thoughts kind?  If not, you are not expressing true kindness and compassion, because inspired kindness flows from the soul and it treats all things and all people with gentleness and respect.

Enthusiasm:

Your enthusiasm can cause a chain reaction of good in the world.  So live your life with enthusiasm.  Enthusiasm is contagious.  Every great endeavor has been fueled by passion, which is the byproduct of enthusiasm. By passion, I mean zest and zeal, a fiery non-stoppable enthusiasm.  I’m talking about an inner force that relentlessly drives you forward.  Setbacks and frustration just fuel your passion to try again, and climb that mountain.  It is a burning desire that creates a commitment to obliterate one’s obstacles and live the life you imagine.

Mindfulness:

Control your thoughts and your mind.  To live more in the now we must control our thoughts and our mind.  To live in the present moment we need to develop more mindfulness. Mindfulness is the art of paying attention, nonjudgmentally, to whatever arises in the present moment.  When we are mindful, we experience what life presents to us, and we are no longer resisting the flow of life. The flow of life energy, when you go with the flow, you are surfing life’s energy force. When we are mindful, we realize that we are not our thoughts; we become an observer of our thoughts without judging them.

Forgiveness:

There is always an opportunity. Mistakes offer a fork in the road. They represent a chance to choose one path or another.  Choose forgiveness, choose kindness and choose love. Use your past and a broad perspective as a light to identify the opportunity so that you can forgive yourself and others. One of the best opportunities and paths to forgiveness is to seek opportunities to help others. When we shift and focus on others a real shift takes place in us and in our lives: you can feel it. When you move pass your worries and look back at your mistakes and you are focused on helping others in this world, that is when some magical things begin to happen.

It takes a lot of strength to forgive someone who is not sorry and to accept the apology you never received. However, unforgiveness is a negative emotional mindset where you, as the offended party maintain feelings of resentment, hostility, and anger toward the person, or persons who offended you. If you do not forgive, all you see is an injustice.  This unforgiveness will take a huge toll on your physical and mental health and will destroy your relationships.

Personal Perspective:

Most of us see only the trees; we cannot or choose to not see the forest. We live our lives in small 24 hour segments, or even smaller.  The answer is personal perspective. It is not easy to step back from a present obstacle, especially a painful or emotional obstacle. However, by stepping back we can see a bigger picture, find the new angle, and look for the always-present opportunity. Yes, personal perspective is the key, and what a wonderful way to achieve wisdom.

Be a Miracle:

By making the choice to live as if everything is a miracle, every moment becomes something to appreciate and be grateful for. One of the biggest miracles I see in my life is my family, friends and the love we all share.  Love is the most amazing thing in our lives.  It is what makes us sing, dance and smile. The miracle of love also leads to what we have already discussed and that is the acts of kindness, forgiveness, thinking of others and seeing life from another person’s point of view.

Difficult times will happen. To find the light, we have to go through the darkness. Please remember while you’re in the midst of it, to try and take a deep breath and remember that the lessons you are learning from the very obstacles you are facing, will shift your view of life. You will learn what matters, who matters, how strong you are and how lucky you are to exist. That is what difficult times teach us, and they are some of the most important lessons we can ever learn.

I loved what Dan had to say about appreciating the little things in life.  “When we are faced with difficult challenges and when death stares us in the face, it is then that we often realize that our smallest joys and accomplishments are what matter most.”  As I wrote in the foreword to his wonderful book, The Gift of Heart Failure, sometimes it takes something bad to teach us something good.  Sometimes it is our greatest challenges that teach us our greatest lessons.

Dan once told me that if you wanted a miracle in your own life you had to first be a miracle in the lives of others.  I truly hope he knows as he now watches from heaven what a miracle he was and what a difference he made.  Thank you, Dan, for the gift of your friendship.

ONE LOVE, ONE HEART

“Remember that all is One… and what you do to your neighbor, your friend or your foe, is a reflection of what you think of your Creator.”

Edgar Cayce

This month my family and I vacationed in Montego Bay, Jamaica. We had a wonderful time. Although I found the beaches to be breathtaking and the many scenic landscapes to be unforgettably beautiful, what I will cherish most about our time in Jamaica is the people.

Everywhere ybobmarleyou went everyone was kind and free-spirited. One day we decided to go shopping and stopped in a gift shop to buy some souvenirs. While there, we struck up a conversation with a petite Jamaican woman (Nell). She asked how we liked Jamaica and I commented how much I loved the people. She looked at me smiling, “You know, one love.” All of a sudden, Nell began to singing the lyrics to the classic hit, One Love (written by Bob Marley and the Wailers).

My family and I quickly joined in singing, “One Love! One Heart! Let’s get together and feel all right. . .” We left that store with something far more important than t-shirts, we left with smiles on our hearts and the feeling of oneness within.

Marley, who died at the age of 36 on May 11, 1981 after suffering from melanoma, was said to be very spiritual and intuitive. In fact, I’ve read that he used to read palms for people as a young boy growing up in Nine Mile, Jamaica. As some of his songs imply, he believed in monotheism which is the belief in one God or one supreme source. He also believed in oneness for all and the connection of all things.

The concept of oneness is difficult for our earthly minds to comprehend. Honestly, it’s not our fault. We live in a world of contrasts which gives us the illusion of disconnectedness and separation. But in reality, we are not separated at all.

The late Wayne Dyer explained it well when he wrote, “The idea of oneness is next to impossible to grasp because we live in this world of contrasts, and contrast requires more than one element. So here we are, persistently in our world of twoness. How can we grasp the idea of oneness in the world of nonbeing that we occupied before we came into beingness? One way might be to think of our fingers, legs arms, toes and eyes: We don’t think of them as separate entities from our total being. We don’t refer to our fingers as being separate from ourselves. So it is with our relationship to Source or God before we came into this world—in that world, we and God were one.” (www.healyourlife.com/what-is-oness.com)

If you think this is pseudoscience, think again. Albert Einstein once said, “Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one.” Let’s start with the human body. When asked what your body is made of you might automatically think: blood, bones, skin, organs, etc. But if you break down everything that you can see and feel to the subatomic level what you will find are particles and atoms.

As you look deeper and deeper into the workings of the atom, you will discover that nothing is there. Well, at least nothing very tangible. What you will find is an energy field or energy waves. These atoms, in other words, are composed of nothing very tangible. So everything that you see around you (the trees, the sand, the sky, the ocean, your house, computer, cell phone, etc.) is made up of this energy and everything is connected to that energy.

Science has discovered that matter is 99.999999999999 percent empty space. So what looks and feels solid is not solid at all. It’s actually energy. In 1911, Max Planck was the first to demonstrate that the seemingly empty space between the planets, stars, etc. is actually teeming with energy.

If we all truly understood the implications of this on the nature of reality, the changes in our way of looking at life would be immeasurable. We are all connected by an unseen force that in turn infuses everything else. This is why it is so important to make sure we surround ourselves with positive people. The energy waves that make up who we are constantly collide or join with the energy around us.

We get back what we put out there in the universe. Taking this one step further, everything that we think, say and do influences our reality. If you want good, you have to do good. If you want love, you have to give love. You create your own destiny.

I will never forget the kindred spirit of the Jamaican people; someday I hope to return there. As we left the store that day, our bags filled with souvenirs, Nell looked over at us with her contagious smile and warm heart, “Remember, one love, one heart.” It was a day and a lesson that my family and I will not soon forget.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THERE IS AN AFTERLIFE?

“Endings are not always bad. Most times they’re just beginnings in disguise.”

Kim Harrison, Something Deadly This Way Comes

How do you know there is life after death? I’ve done several interviews over the past few weeks promoting my newest book, A Call from Heaven: Personal Accounts of Deathbed Visits, Angelic Visions, and Crossings to the Other Side. During these interviews, I’ve been surprised by the many times I am asked this question.

I’ve been researchinCallfromHeavenCoverg the afterlife for over 10 years now and I’ve just completed a book about deathbed phenomena. So how do I know there is life after death? I know not because of my books or the countless spiritual experiences that I have come across; I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is an afterlife because of my own personal experiences.

The epilogue of my first book, Footprints in the Sand: A Disabled Woman’s Inspiring Journey to Happiness, contains an inspiring e-mail written by my husband’s friend and former boss, Rich, who died during the World Trade Center attacks on September 11.   In it, Rich talks about the passing of his father but more so about the importance of living life to its fullest.  After the completion of the book, Rich came to me in a vivid, lucid dream that would not only forever change my view of the afterlife but would also strengthen my faith in God.

In the dream, I went down this long hallway. I had no idea where I was yet there seemed to be a force pushing me forward as I eventually made my way through a doorway at the end. I walked into this room and looked around seeing a bunch of desks and windows. Although I say, “walked,” it was more like I glided as I do not remember my feet ever touching the ground.  I should also mention here that I actually felt myself moving.  It was as though my soul was out wandering while my body remained in a deep sleep.   All of a sudden, Rich appeared before me.  He was wearing glasses and smiled reassuringly at me as he telepathically communicated, “Josie, thank you for mentioning me in your book.”

It is important to note that I had never met Rich in person when he was alive on this Earth. I had only spoken to him on the phone and knew him through pictures yet I had no doubt that this was my husband’s friend standing before me.  I looked up at him seemingly squinting because it was hard to look straight at him.  The only reason I can give for this is there seemed to be a density or fog about us.  To this day, I don’t know why I said this but I looked at him and said, “Rich, you have to give me proof that this is really you?”  He looked at me with a comforting glance and walked over to a desk picking up a cell phone.  On the cell phone was a picture of him, his wife and his son.

He then spoke to me again saying, “Boston is O.K.” I had no idea what this meant but I understood intuitively that this was a message he wanted me to get to his wife. The next thing I knew I was going through a window and found myself on what seemed like a street.  Rich appeared to be in the bed of this pickup standing behind his wife and son.  He looked at me motioning for me to go and give his family the message. I don’t remember anything much after that except for waking up panting and sweating in a sitting position feeling like something had just hit me in my chest.

I must admit I was scared and confused. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Though I could not understand what just happened; I was certain that I had to get this message to his wife.  I was certain that what I had just experienced was real.  It was about 8:00 a.m. and my husband was already at work.  I quickly rushed to call John and told him what had just happened.  His response was nothing that I didn’t expect.  “You’ve got to be kidding me!” he yelled.  “You want me to call Rich’s wife who just lost her husband and tell her that he said, ‘Boston is O.K.’” He was convinced that I had lost my senses.

I persisted telling him that I was certain the experience had been real and not a dream. It was unlike anything that I had ever experienced.  As I would later find out, I had just experienced a form of O.B.E. (out of body experience) known as astral travel. When this occurs, the soul leaves the physical body to travel in its astral body to other dimensions or realms of reality.  My husband listened reluctantly but finally agreed to forward an e-mail written by me explaining what had occurred to Rich’s sister-in-law.  He would ask her to forward the e-mail to Rich’s wife only if she felt it was appropriate.

Shortly after, we were on vacation when my husband received a response from Rich’s sister-in-law on his BlackBerry. In short, she explained that they had a brother in Boston and Rich’s wife was considering moving there.  But having purchased their home just before her husband’s untimely death, she felt guilty.  My husband read this message to himself but did not grasp what the message meant until he read the e-mail aloud to me.

We both looked at each other in complete shock. I never even met his wife let alone knew that she had a brother in Boston.  Now, it all made perfect sense to me.  His words, “Boston is O.K.” was meant to let his wife know that she need not feel guilty about moving.  He was telling her that it was alright with him.

At first, I honestly did not know what to think. So a deceased friend had given me a message in my dreams that had actually been validated.  What next?  What did this mean?  I had no doubt that I had visited with Rich’s spirit and that he was alive and well, but I had difficulty processing this information.   After all I reasoned, if Rich is dead and if he did, in fact, communicate with me, then not only is it confirmation of the existence of an afterlife, but it is also possible for the those on the other side to communicate with the living.

I did not realize it then but this would ultimately lead me on a spiritual quest which would later result in my research followed by my books which highlight various spiritual phenomena including deathbed visits, near-death experiences, angelic encounters and evidential afterlife communication. The more books that I write and the more I delve into these spiritual phenomena, the more I realize that we are so much more than the physical body.  As Edgar Cayce once said, “Birth in the physical is death in the spiritual. Death in the physical is birth in the spiritual.”

So, again, how do I know? I know because a man who was killed in the World Trade Center Attacks of 9/11 came to me with a message for his wife.  The message was later validated by his family shaking me to the core and leading me on my spiritual journey. I have also had many other spiritual experiences since then.

What about those of us who have never had such experiences? This is another question that I’ve discussed on several radio shows in recent weeks.  For those of us who have had such experiences, no proof is necessary.  For those of us who haven’t perhaps no proof will ever be enough.

Skeptics often argue that evidence pertaining to the metaphysical is largely anecdotal or based on personal experience. For this reason, many claim that such evidence is worthless and irrelevant.  As I write in my book, yes, most supernatural evidence is based on personal experience or eyewitness testimony but they are not worthless by any means.  They are, in fact, very noteworthy and significant.

As Albert Einstein once said, “Pure logical thinking cannot yield us any knowledge of the empirical world. All knowledge of reality starts from experience and ends in it.”  In other words, all knowledge starts with personal experience.  How can we know that something needs to be studied if we don’t first experience it?

Recently, I received a note from a reader named Kim who had just finished my book, A Call from Heaven. She wrote, “I just finished it! Thank you so much for validating the visits from heaven that I have experienced over the past two years since my husband passed. After reading numerous stories, I would end the chapter saying out loud to myself, ‘It’s all really true!’ Thank you for the peace I am feeling tonight!”

Thank you very much, Kim. Yes, it’s all really true.

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”
Wayne Dyer

We’ve all heard the popular wise sayings, you reap what you sow and what goes around, comes around. Growing up my mother was a bit more frank with me. She’d say things like, “You better be careful what you say and do because it might come back to bite you in the ass.” This was just her way of saying you get back whatever you put out thands-1150073__340here in the universe.

But how true is this? Today, I went to my local Shoprite to do my weekly food shopping.  Rain fell in the damp air outside as I shopped.  As many of you know, I had surgery on my right Achilles tendon in April 2016.  I’m still recovering and the pain seems to worsen whenever the weather is rainy.  Today was no different and, honestly, I could not wait to go home, take some Advil, and put my feet up.

As I was in the checkout line, the cashier was chatting with the boy who was bagging my groceries. She explained that after 13 years of marriage she was getting divorced.  I could clearly see how upset she was but didn’t say anything at first.  But then she went on to say that she had been both verbally and physically abused by her husband.  “Everyone told me I deserved better,” she said.  “My friends would tell me that I was a beautiful woman and shouldn’t take that from anyone.”

Sensing how upset she was, I couldn’t resist the urge to talk to her.   “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear what you were just saying,” I said.  “Yes, you are a beautiful woman and, no, you don’t deserve that.  No one deserves to be abused.”

I’m sure the other customers who were waiting in line were not happy with me at this point but I continued. I told this woman about a friend of mine who was in an unhappy marriage for a long time.  I went on to repeat to her what I had also told my friend, “It’s not over until you say it’s over.”

She nodded in agreement as a smile warmed her face. “You will find the happiness you so desperately want but you have to first let go of toxic relationships,” I added.  “When you let go of all the bad, you will make room for all the good.”

I’m proud of you, I told her. She looked at me seemingly stunned by my words and reached forward to take my hand.  “Thank you,” she told me.  “I really needed to hear that.  People don’t usually listen to me like that.  Thank you so much.”

I said goodbye and made my way out of the store. When I reached my car, the rain continued to fall and so did the pain in my leg.  I’m guessing I was limping a little more than usual.  Suddenly, a woman came up behind me.

“Here,” she told me, “let me help you.” I looked at her a bit dazed as she helped me put the rest of my bags in my trunk.  Then she quickly took my cart and walked it over to the holding station for me. “Thank you,” I said.  “That was very nice of you.”

I got in my car thinking of the kindness this woman just showed me. It made my day a little brighter despite the dreary weather and ache in my leg.

The Law of Attraction is one of 12 Universal Laws. The law basically states that like attracts like.  Our thoughts, words and actions give off energy which, in turn, attracts like energy. So, in other words, you will harvest whatever you plant in this world. If you want good, you have to do good.

Today, I witnessed the truth of this law. I helped a stranger and, in turn, a stranger helped me.  I begin and end this blog with one of my favorite quotes by Wayne Dyer, “Loving people live in a loving world.  Hostile people live in a hostile world.  Same world.”

True, same world. One world. The choice is ours.  Why wouldn’t anyone choose love?

A Heavenly Thank You

 “Those who love never truly leave us, Harry.  There are things that death cannot touch.”

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter

deanstuart-2

Figure 1: Josie Varga, Dean Foy, Stuart James & Holly Seeger

Last week, I had the opportunity to attend a séance with two English mediums, Stuart James and Dean Foy.  The event was co-sponsored by Rosemary Ellen Guiley, a leading expert in the paranormal and the author of several best-selling books.

James and Foy went around the room doing gallery-type readings and then a séance followed.  The highlight of the evening for me is what happened at the end.  Rosemary came up to me and told me that Stuart wanted a word with me.

I walked over to him and we found a somewhat private area to chat.  He began the conversation by telling me that he had a personal message for me.  “I have a man who passed on 9/11 with a message for you.  Do you understand this?”

Honestly, I was stunned and thought maybe I had misunderstood so I asked him to repeat himself.  Again, he said, “I have man here who passed on 9/11.  Do you understand this?”

For those of you who may not know, my career writing about spiritual phenomena and my book, Visits from Heaven, began because of a lucid dream I had in which my husband’s friend who passed on 9/11 came to me with a message for his wife.  I had never met Rich or his family yet I knew it was him and the message was later validated by his family.  The experience shook me to the core and changed my life leading me to write my books.

So as Stuart was saying this to me last week I could hardly believe what I was hearing.  I told him, however, that I did understand.  He went on to tell me that this man wanted to thank me and let me know how proud he was of me and everything that I am doing.  “He wants me to remind you that you have been led to do what you are doing.  And he said he is excited about the show.”

I was dumbfounded as I listened.  Truthfully, my encounter with Rich can be found in my books and online.  So the story is public knowledge.  However, these mediums are from England and were not given the names of anyone in attendance prior to the event.

Suddenly, Stuart looked at me and told me to wait there because he had something to show me.  He went over to retrieve his IPad out of his bag and came back over to me as he pulled up a screen.  “Here, look at this,” he told me.    He explained that two weeks prior to the event he had meditated and asked any spirit who had a message for someone who would be in attendance to come forward. He showed me his notes from that day.  His notes read something like, “Man from 9/11 wishes to say thank you.”

I stared at his notes speechless for a few seconds.  He went on to explain that as the other medium (Dean Foy) was speaking, Rich came to him and said, “Don’t forget to tell her that I said thank you.”  Stuart said that Rich then pointed me out to him in the group.  This is how he knew exactly who I was and was able to have Rosemary approach me at the end.

Another highlight of the evening was a message that I received from Dean Foy.  He walked up to about three people seated in a circle and said, “I have a private message for you, you and you.  Please see me afterwards.”  I was one of the three.

Dean told me that he had a message from my spirit guide or angel.  He said, “I’m being told that in July you are going to be faced with a big decision.  You are going to have an opportunity.  I getting the first two weeks of July.  Don’t rush and say, yes; give it some thought first.”

Having heard this, I wondered if this meant that it was not a good thing.  Dean, however, told me that all was good.  He said perhaps I was going to receive a better offer and that’s why I was being told not to rush into things.  He told me that the opportunity would affect me both on a personal and professional level.  He thought it might have something to do with the Visits from Heaven show.

Over the past few years, I have been working with Producer Holly Seeger on a television pilot based on my book, Visits from Heaven.  It has been a long journey but things are finally coming to completion.  So, obviously, I was very happy to hear both Stuart and Dean reference the show.

One interesting thing thseance42at I’d like to mention here is that I wasn’t sure if I could attend the event.  My oldest daughter plays volleyball and this was playoff season.

By the time, I told Rosemary that I could attend, the event had already been sold out.

Figure 2: Joe Redmiles, Rosemary Ellen Guiley, Josie Varga & Holly Seeger 

Rosemary, however, graciously called the host for me and my husband and I were able to attend.  So while I might not have been sure if I was going to be able to attend last week, Rich already knew that I would be there.

WHEN DO THEY MOST OFTEN COMMUNICATE?

It takes a great deal of energy for our deceased loved ones to get messages to us in the physical realm.  It is easiest for them to contact us when we are not easily distracted which is one of the reasons why they most often come to us in our dream state.

They also communicate with us during both happy and difficult times.  When they were here on this Earth, they would be there for us.  It is no different now.  They still want to wish us a Happy Birthday or acknowledge a special occasion.  And they still want to be there for us during hard times.   And much like Rich did last week, they will reach out to us with specific messages.

People are always asking me if their loved ones can see them in the shower or having sex.  Can our loved ones see us in the shower?  Yes, they can.  Can our loved ones see us having sex?  Yes, of course, they can.  But they don’t care about those things the way that they did when they were in the flesh.  And they won’t want to or care to violate our privacy.   And if they do happen to see us in the shower, they don’t judge us. It’s just normal human behavior and they understand that.

The thing to remember here is that our deceased loved ones are still very much a part of our lives.  As this surprise message from Rich clearly shows, our deceased loved ones are aware of everything going on in our lives.  And when that day comes when we too shall pass, we will meet again, our love unbroken, as though nothing has changed.

This is not the first time that my husband’s friend Rich has come through to thank me.  While I deeply appreciate his gratitude, I must be honest.  I’m the one who owes him all of my thanks and gratitude.  If it weren’t for his initial visit from heaven, I would certainly not be where I am today.  I have no doubt—as Rich reminded me—that I was led to do what I do.  Truthfully, I don’t know if my work will ever be done but, for now, at least I know it’s started.

Death is Just a Comma

“Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.” ― Mitch Albom

Death it is said is a painful reminder that life is just too short. While this is true death is also more importantly, in my opinion, a reminder that nothing is stronger than the bonds of love. As Thomas Campbell once said, “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”

neverendingcommaTrue. But I would take this a step further and say that love also lives on in the spirit of our loved ones on the other side of the veil. Love is not just an emotion you feel, it is a connection you have with someone else. This connection is unending. It’s always there.

Sure, after someone dies, things change. We can no longer see our loved ones in the physical as we always did. But it does not mean they are not still there in spirit. Recently, my sister in law Shari lost her mother after a long battle with cancer. Her brother flew home from Florida to be there with his mother but she passed shortly before he arrived.

Of course, he was very upset as he wanted to be there with his mother. But I reminded him that now his mother can be with him no matter where he is. Once our loved ones pass, they can still hear us; they can still see us, and they communicate with us in many ways to let us know that they are still around. Have you ever wondered what makes this afterlife communication possible? The never-ending love makes it possible; that connection that we shared on earth and continue to share in the hereafter. That bond of love we shared here on earth remains intact.

Scientists have long discovered that everything in the universe is energy. The computer you are looking at, the chair you’re sitting on, the trees outside . . . everything! This also includes our thoughts, our love for one another and the human body. Quantum mechanics has clearly shown that what we perceive as physical is actually not physical at all.

At the forefront of quantum theory was a Danish physicist named Niels Bohr. “If quantum mechanics hasn’t profoundly shocked you, you haven’t understood it yet,” he once noted. “Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.”

Bohr, for example, made fundamental contributions to our current-day understanding of the configuration of an atom. Atoms it was discovered are actually composed of vortices of energy that are always vibrating and spinning. If you break down the human body you will find atoms. And if you zoom in on the atom under a microscope through these vortices of energy, you would see nothing. Simply put, atoms are made up of invisible or unseen energy, not physical matter.

This is so incredibly astounding when it comes to understanding how the afterlife or visits from heaven are even possible.  Quantum entanglement, for example, is a phenomenon which shows that although we perceive the world and everything in it to be separate, we are actually connected.  Several studies have shown that although particles can be any distance apart, even across the solar system from each other, they are still linked together.  This was referred to as “spooky action at a distance” by Albert Einstein.

Even though our deceased loved may appear to be gone, they are very much still here.  This entanglement or connection if you will is always there.  Many prominent modern-day researchers believe that the concept of quantum mechanics actually proves the existence of an afterlife.

Former head of the Max Planck Institute for Physics in Munich, Dr. Hans-Peter Durr, stated, “”What we consider the here and now, this world, it is actually just the material level that is comprehensible. The beyond is an infinite reality that is much bigger. Which this world is rooted in. In this way, our lives in this plane of existence are encompassed, surrounded, by the afterworld already… The body dies but the spiritual quantum field continues. In this way, I am immortal.”*

We are all so much more than we appear to be. What we perceive as our material reality is actually not material but spiritual. So simply put, since energy can never be created or destroyed, it always is and always will be. As Durr put it, we are immortal.

Death, then, is a continuation not an end. Death is like a comma but instead of connecting two phrases or words it connects the here with the hereafter.

Recently, I was asked if I believed afterlife communication is real and, if so, how is it even possible.  In answer to the first question, yes, it is absolutely real.  I would not have written my initial book on the topic, Visits from Heaven/4th Dimension Press, if I didn’t truly believe it.  This blog represents my attempt to answer the second question as simply as I could and explain how such communication is scientifically possible.

I once read that death ends a life, not a relationship. I both agree and disagree. Death will never end a relationship or bond between two people. But it doesn’t really end a life either. Death is just a comma in the never ending run-on sentence of life.

*https://www.outerplaces.com/science/item/4518-physicists-claim-that-consciousness-lives-in-quantum-state-after-death

lillianThis blog is dedicated in loving memory of Lillian Merlo Bartlett.  Lillian, you will forever be in our hearts as we will forever be with your spirit.